D’Amico Holdings to see Record Profits

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D’Amico Holdings (NASDAQ DAMO $8.39) should see record profits going forward according to Initech Investor Advisors. It is predicted to be St. Louis’ fastest growing company over the next few years, with sustained profitability for the next decade.

“We knew D’Amico was best positioned to win contracts from the projects funded by the new 1% transportation sales tax passed by Missouri voters last month. We saw how much they donated to the pro-tax campaign,” said Initech Senior Analyst Bill Lumbergh, who put a “strong buy” rating on the holding corp, with a price target of $39.

“We’re over-joyed to be a part of all these important infrastructure investments. We will provide a lot of great jobs,” said D’Amico Chairman and CEO Marion Anthony “Fat Tony” D’Amico.

“We couldn’t think of a better partner for these projects. They are a vertically integrated operation and can deliver these projects on time and on budget,” said EW Gateway board member Ken Waller. EW Gateway board member Francis Slay said, “these projects will be good for the region.” EW Gateway board member Charlie Dooley said, “D’Amico has been a good contribut- um partner on St. Louis County’s projects in the past.”

Madoff Investors, a wholly-owned subsidiary of D’Amico in New York, will be the bond broker and primary investor in MoDOT’s sales tax-backed bonds. “You know, a state with money’s a little like the mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it, and danged if he knows how to use it!” Lyle Lanley, chief broker at Madoff, presented to MoDOT and EW Gateway.

D’Amico Holdings has been awarded numerous contracts including: the $1.2B “Outer Loop” project an interstate (I-666 aka “the trip Six”) loop from Barnhart to Troy. A new $700M I-55 bridge over the Mississippi south of the InBev Brewery. The $100M South County Connector, the Great Wall of West County, the Manchester Stroad Tunnel, the Delmar Stroad widening, the I-64 widening in Chesterfield to support its forthcoming Ikea,and the Page Avenue extension phases V, VI, and VII.

nextSTL contacted Metro pitch man Gil “Ol’ Gil” Gunderson about the much desired North-South Metrolink line. “Ah shucks, we tried our darndest with EW Gateway. We’ll try again in ten years when we reauthorize the tax. Maybe it’ll have to be 1.5% then.”

These new projects, particularly the new outer loop are expected to spur much new development and growth. D’Amico Home Builders anticipates 50,000 new housing units over the next decade along the I-666 corridor. As St. Louis County population and housing stock ages and societal ills spread there, Jefferson, Franklin, St. Charles, and Lincoln Counties are expecting a lot of migration. Lincoln County is expected to see the most explosive growth as students from unaccredited school districts in St. Louis County cannot transfer there.

D’Amico Commercial Real Estate has acquired 5,000 acres of commercially zoned property along the proposed I-666 corridor. “With our big box and strip mall leasing partners, we are in an excellent position to leverage this new growth provided by the highway. All the folks moving out here are entitled to nice places to shop,” D’Amico Commercial real Estate VP FRancis James “Slim Jim” D’Amico said.

D’Amico is an equal opportunity employer. “We’re very interested in minority participation. We’ll have many low-skill jobs available all over the region,” said D’Amico. Interested applicants may apply in person at D’Amico Concrete in Barnhart, D’Amico Wrecking in Arnold, D’Amico Steel Erection in O’Fallon, D’Amico Engineering Services in Maryland Heights, D’Amico Earth Moving in Union, D’Amico Crushed Rock and Quarry in Troy, D’Amico Home Builders in Eureka, D’Amico Commercial Real Estate in Chesterfield, D’Amico General Contracting in Festus, and D’Amico Headquarters in St. Peters.

*If you’re still reading, yes, this is an April Fools’ Day post.

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