They might call it a city full of heavily armed, well-read young professionals. We call it home.

I remember a time not too long ago, one that I will always think of as a simpler time. I had just returned from what I had thought of as a pleasant and enjoyable day, only to sit down at my computer and read the 2010 Forbes.com list that named St. Louis, my hometown, the country’s seventh “Most Miserable City.” The news, as I’m sure you can understand, hit me like a ton of bricks. All of those fun times I had thought I enjoyed over the past two years seemed like such a sham in light of this revelation. Most miserable? If only I had known, so I could have adopted the appropriately miserable attitude. The rankings are based upon the clearly highly scientific Misery Index (you capitalize it because it’s scientific), which takes into account, among other factors, “unemployment, taxes (both sales and income), commute times, violent crime and how a city’s pro sports teams have fared over the past two years.” Just to drive home the point, the slideshow has a picture of a sad Rams fan accompanied by the caption, "St. Louis is a baseball town, but what about those Rams? The NFL team has won only six games out of 48 the past three years, the fewest wins in football." Poor, sad Rams fan.

Having my perception of my hometown so fundamentally altered really got me thinking: what else do I not realize about St. Louis? Armed with Google and 20 minutes of downtime, I set out to find the truth about this city. The results are disconcerting. Do you like not getting shot? Well then get out. Now. Areavibe.com lists St. Louis as the most dangerous city in the United States, based on its highly scientific (You guessed it, didn’t you?) Crime Index. As one more bullet in the clip, urbantitan.com has St. Louis as the world’s THIRD MOST DANGEROUS CITY. That is ahead of both Mogadishu and Port-Au-Prince. This, from the website that boasts such hard-hitting journalism as “5 Most Bizarre Deaths During Sexual Intercourse.”